A few weeks ago, one of my colleagues retired after working at Providend for almost two decades. Just before he left the company’s chat group, he wrote his farewell message to all of us. It hit me that one day, not too long from now, I too, will be sending a similar message and leaving my company’s chat group.
I wonder how it would feel and whether I would get used to retiring from my firm, especially when I am the founder. I also wonder whether I will look forward to living my retirement years.
I had a similar feeling in 2021. It was my last day serving my National Service in the army, and when I entered the room for a meeting, I saw a name holder on the table where I was supposed to be seated. On it was written “LTC (Ret) Christopher Tan”. I remember having an uneasy feeling. I could not get used to the word “Retired”.
Many of us plan financially for our retirement. We think about when we will retire, consider the kind of lifestyle we will live in retirement, and estimate the expenses we may incur to fund this lifestyle. We then top up our CPF and buy financial products to save and invest toward this eventual day. In the financial services industry, retirement planning is a big business. Products upon products are launched to meet the financial needs of consumers and help them achieve their retirement goals. But while many of us may be financially ready for retirement, we may not be mentally ready when the eventual day comes.
Tony Hixon, a US-based financial adviser, shared a sad story about his late mother.
Pam Hixon went to Tony when she turned 60 years old. She was eager to retire but wanted to know whether she would be financially ready. So, Tony did what any good financial planner would do. He took some time to crunch the numbers and then gave his mother the go-ahead.
Tony shared that, like many people, his mum had built up an ideal in her mind. She imagined long days of relaxing, filling her hours with her favourite hobbies and activities, and spending more time with her loved ones. But unfortunately, his mum did not have a detailed plan for her retirement lifestyle. All the grand ideas that she had would never fill all her time. As her retirement approached, she became less excited and more anxious, even though Tony showed her all the numbers and assured her that she had a sufficient nest egg.
Pam Hixon was a registered nurse who, after working hard for decades, was promoted to become a hospice director where she found fulfilment in her work. Her job was the source of her strength. But as the organisation went through computerisation, she found herself spending less time doing what she loved (caring for patients and building relationships with their families). Finally, she was so burnt out that she needed to retire. So, in the fall of 2010, Pam Hixon retired.
Sadly, Pam found herself on Monday mornings not knowing what to do. She had a servant’s heart and spent decades serving others, and when her primary outlet to serve and help others was taken away, she was lost. She felt she was no longer needed. To make matters worse, her husband was still working, which resulted in her being alone at home most of the time. Over time, she lost purpose and hope and went into depression. About six months later, she committed suicide.
I am sure Pam Hixon’s story is not the only one, and there are many untold tragedies out there. How then can we better prepare ourselves for retirement that goes beyond the money part?
Steps You Can Take
I have shared many times that we should first make life decisions before financial decisions. In this regard, asking yourself what is the good life that you want to live in retirement is the kind of decision you need to make first.
Richard Leider and David Shapiro, who are authors of the book Repacking Your Bags, define the good life as “living in the place you belong, with the people you love, doing the right work, on purpose.”
So, years before you enter into the next phase of your life called “retirement,” here is what you can do:
- Spend some time thinking, researching, and planning the country, city, or which part of Singapore you want to live in, and the type of house you want to stay in so that you can be with the people you love and do the kind of “work” that you want to do in this stage of life.
- The next step is to do what we call in the army a “dry run,” which is a kind of rehearsal where the environment is as realistic as possible. So, when an opportunity arises, take a sabbatical or have a career break and live as close as possible to the life that you are planning for in retirement. Stay in the country or city that you want to. If not possible, even in Singapore, do the “work” that you plan to do in retirement and live your daily life according to your retirement plan. This will allow you to know whether your retirement plan works, and if not, make the necessary tweaks to it now.
Preparing for My Next Chapter
I am 54 years old this year and have officially entered the stage of life of a pre-retiree. Even as I prepare for the day when I will finally retire from financial services, I am considering some possible places that I can retire in.
I am also going on more holidays with my wife alone. Since a decade ago, I knew that when I stop my work in wealth advisory, I would want to be a life coach to the underdogs and to those who are down and out. Over the years, I have gone for many training sessions to become a certified coach.
In recent months, I have even started learning how to build my own website/blog so that I can write my reflections on it. The more I do these things, the more I look forward to the day when I can finally hand over the leadership of my firm to my successor and live out the next phase of my life on purpose.
Are you really prepared for retirement? How are you preparing for it?
The writer, Christopher Tan, is Chief Executive Officer of Providend Ltd, Southeast Asia’s first fee-only comprehensive wealth advisory firm and author of the book “Money Wisdom: Simple Truths for Financial Wellness“. He is also a Certified Ikigai Tribe Coach.
The edited version of this article was published in The Business Times on 19 August 2024.
For more related resources, check out:
1. The Providend Conversation: Living the Good Life with Christopher Tan
2. My Condo Downgrade to HDB Was Tough, but It Was Worth It
3. Retirement – It’s About the Kind of Life You Want to Lead
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